Interview with Subject #30452 from Andrew Marc Rowe's HI DE HO, INFECTERINO: THE COME UP (THE PARASOL FILES #1)

We’re thrilled to be talking to Subject #30452 from Andrew Marc Rowe's HI DE HO, INFECTERINO!  It is a pleasure to have him with us today at Pimp That Character!

* * *

Thank you for your interview, Subject #30452.  How old are you and what do you do for a living? 

Well, I'm a hyper-intelligent crow. I scavenge vittles from the idiot humans of whom I can take advantage. I just learned English with the help of Zane, from Zane's, the best arcade in New Jersey... according to him, anyway. He's a dirty hippie who used to sell acid at Shakedown Street, the parking lot outside of Grateful Dead concerts, till he wised up and went legit. Sort of.

Can you tell us about one of your most distinguishable features?

I come from a respected Russian family from St. Petersburg and am traditionally a nationalist Russian. I love my fatherland. However, since I lived in the USA for several years. I am also a politically western-minded person. I am in favor of basic democratic values that safeguard the freedom and dignity of citizens. That is not the case in Russia. On the contrary, we have become a dictatorship with a new Czar at the top. 

I have been living miserably in this environment for too long. That is why I have decided to change Russia. Now you want to know how? Okay. We are a group of oligarchs who will overthrow the Russian president in a few days. Just like Caesar was overthrown by his senators. Everything is prepared. Even the new government. It will put an end to the terrible war against Ukraine, and we will reach out to the USA for a new partnership.  

What would I love the most about you?

Well, I'm a crow. And you're a human. And you can't tell us crows apart because you're a speciesist piece of work. I suppose my brain would be one thing. I think - no I know - that I'm smarter than you. What'd you call this thing - pimp your character? Let me tell you a few things about pimping... well, all I don't know much about that. But I do know hos, know what I'm saying? Or rather, I have had quite a few cloacal kisses after I escaped from the Parasol Industries lab where they turned me into a genius.

What makes you laugh out loud?

Homophobic jokes.

What is your most treasured possession?

The little computer that Zane lets me use so I can type answers to stupid ass questions like this one.

Are you a loner or do you prefer to be surrounded by friends?

I don't have friends. I have marks. Zane is a pretty good mark - he feeds me and is helping me out. But that's only because he's a dumbass hippie who always tries to do the right thing.

What is in your refrigerator right now? 

You mean in Zane's refrigerator? Probably some kale and hummus and other stupid hippie trash.

What is your greatest fear? 

That I'll never get to have sex again.

If you could change one physical thing about yourself, what would that be?

Nothing, I'm the perfect specimen. Maybe it would be that I wouldn't have to field asinine questions like this one.

Who is your best friend? 

I told you, buddy, I don't have them.

Do you have children? 

Hell yeah, at least I hope so. I certainly have been pulling a page out of Elon Musk and Nick Cannon's books, if you know what I mean. Me and 'safe sex' remain unintroduced.

What is your favorite weather? 

Cloaca grinding weather.

Do you like to cook?  If so, what is your favorite thing to cook? 

If you're talking about food, I leave that to the idiots with opposable thumbs. If you're talking about my brain, I eff with Zane's liquid acid stash from time to time.

If you knew you were going to die tomorrow, what would you do today?

Get in as many cloacal kisses with as many females as possible.

Book Description:

Larry Evans was on the brink of his big break. As the lead singer of a rising rock band in 1980s London, his dream of leaving behind his small-time drug-dealing days seemed within reach. But fate—or more accurately, a freak fire and a faceful of experimental fungal spores—had other plans. Transformed into patient zero of a flesh-eating zombie outbreak, Larry unwittingly becomes ground zero for a pandemic that’s more psychedelic than apocalyptic.

The culprit? De Longeuil, a hallucinogenic fungal infection created by the brilliant but socially awkward scientist Hester. As the infection spreads, it alters not just bodies but minds, creating a hive mind of infected individuals who crave brains and challenge the limits of human evolution. Meanwhile, global leaders weigh the nuclear option, threatening to obliterate Great Britain in a desperate bid to contain the outbreak.

Enter an unlikely alliance: Larry, fighting to maintain his humanity; Starseed, the newly sentient fungal hive mind; and a ragtag crew of survivors, including Willy, an adult bookstore clerk battling his own addictions, and Ralph, whose experimental fluconazole offers a glimmer of hope but at a strange cost to her own humanity. Together, they must find a way to prove to the world that the infected aren’t mindless monsters, all while dodging fallout—both literal and figurative.

Across the Atlantic, Subject #30452—a crow gifted with sapience thanks to Parasol Industries’ sinister experiments—embarks on his own odyssey. From revenge to psychedelic enlightenment, his journey takes him to a New Jersey arcade run by a hippie named Zane, where unexpected connections begin to reshape his worldview.

Hi De Ho, Infecterino! is the first explosive installment of The Parasol Files, a mind-bending trilogy that blends apocalyptic chaos with dark humor, wild characters, and a sharp, satirical edge. Equal parts zany adventure, raunchy comedy, and biting commentary, this is a story of survival, evolution, and the absurdity of it all. Buckle up for a trippy, laugh-out-loud ride into the end of the world—and the strange possibilities it might bring.

Hi De Ho, Infecterino! The Come Up is available at Amazon.

 

About the Author:

Born and raised in St. John’s, Newfoundland and Labrador, Canada, Andrew Marc Rowe had no idea that the human psyche and the nature of reality were going to end up as his prime fascinations in life. Perhaps he had more than an inkling that he would not wake up one morning as a jock doing sports things, given his penchant for nerdiness like mythology and fantasy and science fiction, but matters of the spirit and philosophy were the furthest things from his mind as an adolescent. More his speed were the most puerile and juvenile expressions of toilet and sexual humour offered up on silver platters by stand-up comedians and nascent Internet peeps.

People grow up, though, or so Andrew has been told. His interests expanded, limited world views were shattered, horizons increased in scope. Mental health problems became intractable, psychedelic medicines and following one’s dreams were recognized for their curative powers. Atheism became raving pantheism became ‘wrong question, dude’ as Andrew found himself no longer young enough to know everything or believe anything. Instead, he finds himself writing characters who think they know everything.

If you really want to stroke Andrew’s ego, tell him you’ve never read anything like his work before. It makes his writing nearly impossible to market but at least I’ve got chicken, as young Leroy Jenkins once proclaimed to a bunch of nerds in the mid-aughts.

What’s that? You want bog-standard biographical info? Lawyer, father of one, man nearing middle age who gets his jollies pushing and bending and licking the literary envelope.

Happy?

Andrew Marc Rowe’s latest book is Hi De Ho, Infecterino! The Come Up.

Website & Social Media:

Website ➜ http://www.andrewmarcrowe.com 

Facebook ➜ https://www.facebook.com/andrewmarcrowe 

TikTok ➜ https://www.tiktok.com/@bawdybardwrites