Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Jonathan Stuart: Hooked by Bobbi JG Weiss



We’re thrilled to be talking to Jonathan Stuart — or should I say, the infamous Captain James Hook? — from Bobbi JG Weiss's new novel HOOKED. It is a pleasure to have him with us today at Pimp That Character!

Thank you for your interview, John... err, Captain. Can you tell us your story?

Story? It is no story, my dear! I once had a life, a life just as real as yours! And that damnable boy took it from me along with my hand!  (pauses) ...Forgive the outburst. I've yet to fully come to terms with it. I assure you, it is no delusion on my part, no drunken hallucination. I have been ripped from the life I knew and forced to play a part that I don't wish to play. But such is fate. I'm doing my best to get home, but once in the Neverland, how do you get back, hm? I've yet to figure it out, but I will. (long pause) I will...

Can you tell us about one of your most distinguishable features?

It's not what you'd think. (glances at the end of his right arm) Actually, it's my hair. That is, I refer to the hair I used to have. It was a perfect Southern California blond. I recall wearing it tied back. Now, of course — well, you can see it's gone black and curly and it's far too damned long. Do you know, I can't even trim it. It just grows right back! Go ahead, explain that to me, because I certainly don't understand it.

What would I love the most about you?

(explosive laughter) Oh, I don't know as there's anything you'd love about me, my dear. Not these days.

Where do you go when you are angry?

Ah, the question should be, where do I go at all? As you must know, I'm stuck on a bloody pirate ship. If I set foot on that confounded boy's island, I have to look out for his horde of puling brats or the Indians or that bloody ticking crocodile... No, my dear sweet interviewer, I have nowhere to go whether I'm angry or not. As I recall someone saying once... I don't quite remember who, but they said, "Sucks to be me." Let that suffice as my answer.

If you could change one physical thing about yourself, what would that be?

(snort of amusement) This is a trick question, perhaps? (holds up the hook on the end of his right arm) What do you think?

When you were a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?

Far far away from my horrid father and my wasp of an uncle and their pointless feud! (pause) I suppose I got my wish. A bit of advice, my dear — be careful what you wish for.

Do you like to cook? If so, what is your favorite thing to cook?

I used to barbeque a very tasty steak. Now? (shrugs) No cows. The Indian tribe on the island had a small herd, but apparently I stole them some time ago. I have no recollection of doing so, but it's like so many things now — I know I did it, but I don't actually remember. I suppose I even might have barbequed steaks for the crew, but if I did, I have no memory of eating one myself. (licks lips) I do miss a well-cooked steak. You would have to bring that up...

Do you have children?

Good God in Heaven, why would you even ask me such a question?

Who is your best friend?

I have no friends. I suppose Smee is my confidant, though honestly, I don't trust him. Nor Cecco, though he's considerate enough. I do recall a woman... I can't remember her name, though I think it started with an M. Melody? No... well, regardless. After all I've been through, I don't trust anyone. And that includes you, my dear. Don't think I don't know how you intend to spread our little conversation among the rumor mongers. Go ahead, my reputation has survived worse.

What is your greatest fear?

You might think I'm afraid of Pan. Don't delude yourself. He's just a boy. A dangerous boy but a puling little sprog all the same. And you might also think it's the crocodile, but no. Well, yes, but... in all honesty, my greatest fear is... (taps skull). My memory confounds me these days. I get sudden images of faces and things that... I don't know who or what they are. Or used to be. Sometimes I'll have the most vivid dreams of strange places, great machines that can't possibly exist, and a house... an extraordinarily clean structure that is full of books. It frightens me. I think the images might be from my life, my real life. I may not know what they mean anymore, but I want them back. They belong to me! Oh, mark my words, I will get them back, all of them, everything that was mine that he took, I shall take back from him. I just have to figure out how...


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About The Author:

Bobbi JG Weiss made her world debut one Christmas morning (cough-mutter-mutter) years ago, and as long as she can remember, she’s wanted to be a writer. Why? She has no idea. Probably a birth defect. After several boring “normal” jobs, her writing wishes came true — she and her husband/partner David Cody Weiss began to make their living as full-time freelance writers, focusing on Hollywood tie-in merchandise like movie/TV novel adaptations, comics, and other related and often ridiculous products. After 20+ years of this, the “WeissGuys” decided to enter the wild world of self-publishing. You can find more information about Bobbi, her books, her life, and her weird husband at http://www.weisswriters.com/. She also posts on Twitter, tumblr, Pinterest and Facebook unless her passwords mysteriously stop working and she can’t get on, which seems to happen a lot. Why? She has no idea. Probably computer voodoo.


Connect with Bobbi:
Author Website 
Hooked Website
Facebook
Twitter
Google+ 
Tumblr
Goodreads


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About The Book:

Title: Hooked
Author: Bobbi JG Weiss 
Publisher: Independent Self Publishing
Publication Date: July 21, 2014
Pages: 518
ISBN: 978-0990360001
Genre: Dark Fantasy / Horror
Format: Paperback, eBook, ePub, PDF

Purchase Book:
Amazon
Barnes & Noble
Smashwords
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He is not Captain Hook.

His name is Jonathan Stuart, and he’s just an ornery post-alcoholic bookstore owner from Pasadena with a mania for fencing and a bad habit of disappointing his girlfriend. He doesn’t want to be in the Neverland, impossibly trapped aboard the Jolly Roger with a horde of greedy stinking pirates. He was tricked there by Peter Pan.

Pan happily invites children to come to his wondrous magical island, but he has to trick adults. No adult in their right mind would go willingly. Adults, you see, don’t have a very good time in the Neverland. The fairies and mermaids are against them. The island itself is against them. Most of all, Peter Pan is against them.

In particular, Peter Pan is against Jonathan Stuart. Why? Jonathan had better figure that out, and he’d better do it fast before his mutating memories insist that, not only does he indeed belong in this nightmarish hell of bloodthirsty children, ticking crocodiles and vengeful boy gods, but he’s never existed anyplace else.

So you see, he’s definitely not Captain Hook.

Well, not yet.



Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Nova: Bad Taste in Men by Lana Cooper #characterinterview #humor #PUYB




We’re thrilled to be talking to Nova from Lana Cooper's new humorous fiction, BAD TASTE IN MEN.  It is a pleasure to have her with us today at Pimp That Character!

Thank you for your interview, Nova.  Can you tell us your story?



Sure. My story, Bad Taste In Men, follows me from my pre-teen years all the way to college and chronicles my attempts at getting dudes to dig me. I have a habit of falling for some of my male friends who don't reciprocate my feelings. When I'm not busy being the Mayor of the Friend Zone or attempting to throw myself at such stellar dating candidates as the guy with one eye or the guy that lives in his car, I'm hanging out with my slightly kooky family, my friends, working part time, and getting straight A's.

What would I love the most about you?

My sarcastic, self-deprecating humor and that I'm intensely loyal to my family, friends, and the object of my affections.

What would I hate the most about you?

Probably the same exact qualities that you might love most about me. I mean well, but sometimes come on too strong. I don't always realize that there are times when I should dial it back a bit and be a little less blunt.

Where do you go when you are angry?

My room. Usually to listen to an angry-in-a-totally-unironic-way mix tape.

What makes you laugh out loud?

Fart jokes. Poop jokes. Barf jokes. I have a truly refined sense of humor.

What is in your refrigerator right now?

Well, my mom is a pretty terrible cook. So, I'm hoping that there are some Cheezer Puffs and Razberry Rollz in the fridge so I'm not subjected to the horror of her leftovers.

What is your greatest fear?

It's a toss-up: That I'll die alone and without ever having a date. Or that I wind up stuck in my small, backwards hometown of Fletcher, PA forever.

What is the trait you most not like about yourself?

I have a strong sense of self – I know who I am, where I want to go, and who I want to become -- but I wish I had a higher sense of self-esteem when it comes to guys. I feel like I always have to have a crush on a guy. Some crushes are a little more intense than others, but I'm not fond of the fact that I view the whole experience as one-part challenge to get a guy to like me and one-part deep-seeded need to have someone feel something for me in return.

Do you think the author portrayed you accurately?

Yes. When you crack open Bad Taste In Men, there I am. Flaws and all. I'm a pretty funny, likeable chick. But I'm not perfect. I have a very human, very vulnerable side, too.

Who is your best friend?

I have a few really good girlfriends – Sammi, Cora, Jenn and Claire – although Claire can be kind of a bitch. However, my brother, Orion, is probably my best friend – as much as he or I would be loath to admit it. He's a good kid, though. He makes fun of me constantly, but he's always there for me when it counts. 

What is your idea of a perfect day?

Heading to the mall with friends, running into a guy I dig. He asks me out on a date and we seal the deal by splitting order of chicken nuggets off the Dollar Menu in the food court before heading to the record store and debating whether or not AC/DC ever wrote a ballad or if their seminal 1980 classic,"You Shook Me All Night Long," constitutes as one. 

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About the Author:


Lana Cooper was born and raised in Scranton, PA and currently resides in Philadelphia. A graduate of Temple University, she doesn't usually talk about herself in the first person, but makes an exception when writing an author bio. Cooper has written extensively on a variety of pop culture topics and has been a critic for such sites as PopMatters and Ghouls On Film. She's also written news stories for EDGE Media, a leading nationwide network devoted to LGBT news and issues. Cooper enjoys spending time with her family, reading comic books, books with lots of words and no pictures, and avoiding eye-contact with strangers on public transportation. "Bad Taste In Men" is her first full-length novel.
Her latest book is the humorous nonfiction, Bad Taste in Men.

For More Information


About the Book: 


Title: Bad Taste in Men
Author: Lana Cooper
Publisher: Delightfully Dysfunctional Books
Pages: 352
Genre: Humorous Nonfiction
Format: Paperback/Kindle

Purchase at AMAZON

Have you ever felt like even Mother Theresa has got more game than you?
If you have, you'd be in the same boat as geeky, awkward metalhead Nova Porter.
Bad Taste In Men follows Nova from her prepubescent years through young adulthood and her attempts at getting dudes to dig her. 

Juggling self-esteem issues, small town outsider status, and questionable taste in guys, Nova is looking for love in all the wrong places - like the food court at the mall. Nova's circle of friends and her strange(ly) endearing family more than make up for what her love life lacks. 

Along the way, Nova alternately plays the roles of hero and villain, mastermind and stooge; picking up far more valuable life lessons than numbers for her little black book.
One part chick lit for tomboys and one part Freaks and Geeks for kids who came of age in the mid-'90s, Bad Taste In Men is loaded (like a freight train) with pop cultural references and crude humor. 

From getting laughed at by your crush to being stood up (twice!) by a guy with one eye, Bad Taste In Men showcases the humor and humiliation that accompanies the search for love (or at least "like") as a small-town teenage outcast, managing to wring heart-warming sweetness from angsty adolescent memories - and jokes about barf and poop.